她說，柏克萊做過一個實驗：三人一組討論，最後端來一盤餅乾，四塊，永遠多出一塊。多出來的那塊，幾乎每一次都被隨機選出的組長吃掉。She says Berkeley once ran an experiment: three people discuss in a group, and afterward a plate of four cookies arrives — always one extra. Almost every time, the randomly-chosen group leader is the one who eats it.
她問自己一個她自己也答不出來的問題：一個人擁有很多餅乾——很多成就，很多肯定——為什麼心裡還是越來越空？She asks a question she can't answer herself either: why does a person with many cookies — many achievements, much affirmation — still feel emptier inside?
七個禮拜的「哈囉瑪麗」 Seven weeks of "Hello Mary"
她說在迦納，她每天跟一個從不回應的學生說「Hello Mary」，講了七個禮拜。在海地，她放下「老師該教什麼」的姿態，只是一頂帳篷接著一頂帳篷，聽學生講故事。She says that in Ghana, she said "Hello Mary" every day to a student who never responded, for seven weeks. In Haiti, she set aside the posture of "teacher who has something to teach," and simply moved tent to tent, listening to her students' stories.
最後一天，瑪麗蹲下來，一句話也沒說，把她腳上的泥土擦掉。這個動作不是劉安婷安排的，她沒辦法控制結果——她只是一次又一次地出現。On the last day, Mary knelt down, said nothing, and wiped the mud off her feet. That wasn't something she arranged — she couldn't control the outcome. She simply showed up, again and again.
這讓我們問自己：我願意走進一個人的世界多久，才會放棄？我願意讓結果不是我安排的嗎？That leaves us asking ourselves: how long are we willing to walk into someone's world before giving up? Are we willing to let the outcome be something we don't control?
三個字：真實、安全、穩定 Three words: real, safe, stable
這裡有一件很簡單、卻很深的事：生命中的好，常常不是靠一件了不起的事情做成的，是靠一個人真實、安全、且穩定地出現在你的生命裡。Here's something simple but deep: the good in a life is often not built by one impressive act. It's built by someone showing up in your life real, safe, and stable.
真實，是這個人沒有在表演。她走進那間教室，不是扮演一個「有愛心的老師」的角色——她自己也渺小、也不知道該講什麼。真實的相反不是說謊，是表演——為了讓對方感覺好、或讓自己看起來稱職，戴上的一張臉。Real means this person isn't performing. Walking into that classroom, she wasn't playing the role of "the caring teacher" — she was small too, unsure what to say too. The opposite of real isn't lying — it's performing: a face put on to make someone feel good, or to make yourself look competent.
安全，不是沒有衝突、沒有情緒，是這個人不會拿你給出來的東西回頭傷你。安全的相反不是危險，是條件——妳必須表現到某個樣子，這段關係才會繼續。Safe doesn't mean no conflict, no emotion. It means this person won't take what you've given her and use it against you later. The opposite of safe isn't danger — it's conditionality: you have to perform a certain way for the relationship to continue.
穩定，不只是每天出現在同一個地方，是這個人的出現不看妳的回應決定要不要繼續。穩定的相反不是消失，是看情況——心情好、有空、關係「值得」的時候才出現，一旦覺得沒有回報，就悄悄退場。Stable isn't just showing up in the same place every day. It means her showing up doesn't depend on your response for whether it continues. The opposite of stable isn't disappearing — it's conditional presence: showing up only when it's convenient, and quietly stepping back the moment it feels like there's no return.
不是每一次出現都要解決問題，不是每一次都要帶來答案，甚至不是每一次都會得到回應。只是：我還在。久而久之，這個穩定的出現本身，就成為生命中的好。Not every time did she solve a problem. Not every time did she bring an answer. Not even every time did she get a response. Just: I'm still here. Over time, that stable presence itself becomes the good.
填滿空屋的，不是一次性的救援 What fills an empty house isn't a one-time rescue
這剛好碰到我們常講的空屋困境：很多時候，救援只給了一根緊急的 OK 棒，卻沒有後續穩定、持續出現的關係——就像打掃了一間有囤積症的房子，蟑螂清乾淨了，底層讓人繼續囤積的心理困境卻沒有人碰。瑪麗的故事提醒我們：填滿空屋的不是一次性的救援，是穩定出現的人。This runs right into what we call the Empty House Trap: rescue often hands someone an emergency fix and nothing after — no relationship that keeps showing up. It's like sweeping the cockroaches out of a hoarder's house while never touching the psychological hoarding underneath. Mary's story reminds us: what fills an empty house isn't a one-time rescue. It's someone who keeps showing up.
破碎才飽足 Broken is what satisfies
她說，最令人飽足的餅乾，是破碎的餅乾。這讓我們問自己：一個人到底要擁有多少，才會開始願意讓它流出去？也許問題從來不是「我有沒有足夠」，而是：我的生命裡，有沒有一條可以流出去的路？She says the most satisfying cookie is a broken one. That leaves us asking: how much does a person need before they're willing to let it flow out? Maybe the question was never "do I have enough." Maybe it's: is there a channel in my life for it to flow out through?
她先走了這一步，把餅乾破碎、給出去。我們在她走過的地方，多看見了一步：破碎之後，那份給出去的東西，要流進一群人一起走的日子裡，才不會只是一個人的餅乾革命——這是我們自己加上去的一層，不是她講過的話。She took this step first — breaking the cookie open, giving it away. Where she walked, we saw one more step: after the breaking, what's given away needs to flow into the days a group of people walk together, or it stays just one person's cookie revolution. That's a layer we've added ourselves, not something she said.
今天，可以做一件事，讓自己成為某個人身邊真實、安全、穩定的那個人——不用解決他的問題，只要今天還在。Do one thing today: be the real, safe, stable presence in someone's life — not solving their problem, just being there today.
引自劉安婷 2013 年 TEDxTaipei 講題「擁抱世代從教育開始」（劉安婷），德蕾莎修女禱告詞為她引用之公開文本 ·
Quoted from Anting Liu's 2013 TEDxTaipei talk, "Embracing a Generation, Starting with Education"; the Mother Teresa prayer is a public text she quotes within the talk.
「神所要的祭，就是憂傷的靈；神啊，憂傷痛悔的心，你必不輕看。」（詩篇 51:17）
"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)
她引用德蕾莎修女的禱告詞，讓我們想起這節經文——破碎不是懲罰，是讓更多能裝進來的空間。The prayer she quotes leads us back to this verse — brokenness is not punishment, it's more room to hold what comes in.