Andy Stanley 訪問 Tim Elmore，談的是他自己機構裡正在發生的事：同工留不住，平均三年半就走。但 Tim 沒有停在這個畫面上，他說了一句話，讓我停下來。Andy Stanley interviews Tim Elmore about something happening inside his own organization: staff don't stay, averaging three and a half years. But Tim didn't stop there — he said one line that made me stop.
「你的權柄不是來自一個名牌，是來自一座橋。」"Your authority doesn't come from a badge. It comes from a bridge."
名牌告訴我：我是誰。橋告訴我：我們之間，有沒有真的走過來。A badge tells me who I am. A bridge tells me whether we've actually walked to meet each other.
合群，還是歸屬 Fitting in, or belonging
Tim 引用 Brené Brown 對「合群」和「歸屬」的區分，用自己的話解釋：Tim brings up Brené Brown's distinction between fitting in and belonging, in his own words:
「合群，是我頂著鼻環、染著紫色頭髮進來，你要我改頭髮、改鼻環，把我塞進一個方洞裡的圓釘。歸屬，是我可以完全做我自己，但我是為了一個比我更大的目標，而做我自己。」"Fitting in is I came in with my nose ring and purple hair and you'd made me change my hair and change my nose ring, a round peg in a square hole. Belonging is, I can be fully who I am, but I'm who I am on behalf of a larger cause."
Andy 把這句話收成一句問句：「你是說，他們本來的樣子就有價值。我們要幫他們調整來配合我們，但我們是不是也該為他們調整一點？」Tim 只回了四個字：Andy compresses this into a question: "You're saying you're valuable, as you are. Help us adjust to you — and would you adjust a little bit to us?" Tim's answer was four words:
「沒錯，就是在中間會合。」"Yes, that's exactly right. Meet in the middle."
兩邊都往中間走一點，不是只有一邊調整來配合另一邊。Both sides walk a little toward the middle — not just one side adjusting to fit the other.
先問，再說 Ask first, tell second
Tim 給了一個具體的做法：PERKS，五個字母，五件要先問、不是先講的事——偏好（Preferences）、期待（Expectations）、要求（Requirements）、心裡的鑰匙（Keys）、薪資（Salary）。他說，光是問「你對這份工作有什麼偏好」，對方就會知道「你真的在乎我在想什麼」。Tim offers a concrete practice: PERKS, five letters, five things to ask about first, not announce — Preferences, Expectations, Requirements, Keys (to someone's heart), Salary. He says just asking about preferences tells someone "you actually care what I'm thinking."
🔑 關鍵詞
「期待，若不早點講開，八個月後就會變成一顆腫瘤。」"Expectations, if you don't talk about that early on, eight months later, it's a cancer."
PERKS 五個字裡沒有一句是「我要告訴你」，全部都是「我想問你」。Not one letter in PERKS is "let me tell you." Every one of them is "let me ask you."
先走過去的那一步 The step that goes first
如果我站在橋的這一邊，你站在另一邊，我不能只站在原地問：你為什麼還沒走過來？If I'm standing on one side of the bridge and you're on the other, I can't just stand there asking: why haven't you walked over yet?
我也可以先走一步。也許你也走一步。然後我們就在中間遇見。I can walk first. Maybe you walk too. And then we meet somewhere in the middle.
引自 Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast，主持人 Andy Stanley 訪談 Tim Elmore 博士的節目「How to Lead Gen Z Well with Dr. Tim Elmore」，逐字稿取自 YouTube 官方字幕。
Quoted from the Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast, host Andy Stanley's conversation with Dr. Tim Elmore, "How to Lead Gen Z Well with Dr. Tim Elmore," transcript from YouTube's official captions.
「凡事不可結黨，不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀，只要存心謙卑，各人看別人比自己強。各人不要單顧自己的事，也要顧別人的事。」（腓立比書 2:3-4）
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." (Philippians 2:3-4)
透過耶穌這道路，走回與天父重建的依戀關係，是我們所知所行一切的根基。This path through Jesus — to rebuild our attachment with the Heavenly Father — is the foundation beneath everything we know and do.