他講一件真事：他們夫妻幫一位 80 歲的朋友搬進安養機構，過程中一個借住她家的房客死賴不走，甚至威脅要告他們的房仲，幾乎搞砸了賣房的成交。他誠實說，自己跟太太每天在家想著怎麼「合法地整」這個房客，後來驚覺「我們正在變得跟他一樣」。He tells a true story: helping an 80-year-old friend move into assisted living, a tenant staying in her house refused to leave and even threatened to sue their realtor, nearly wrecking the sale. He admits he and his wife spent evenings scheming ways to "legally" get the man out — until he realized, "we're becoming like him."
拿八與亞比該 Nabal and Abigail
他用舊約撒母耳記上 25 章收束：拿八仗著自己有錢有羊，羞辱了落難中的大衛，大衛盛怒之下帶四百人要屠殺拿八全家；拿八的妻子亞比該搶先一步，用食物跟一段話攔住了他——不是替拿八求情，是提醒大衛「你不需要靠自己的手報仇，神一直都在為你開路」。He closes with 1 Samuel 25: Nabal, wealthy and secure, insults David while David is a fugitive; enraged, David rides out with four hundred men to slaughter Nabal's household. Nabal's wife Abigail intercepts him with food and a few words — not pleading for Nabal, but reminding David he doesn't need to avenge himself, because God has always been opening the way for him.
我是為了我自己 I have to do this for me
他自己故事的結尾：太太 Sandra 烤了那個房客最愛吃的瑪芬送過去，不是為了感動他，她說「我是為了我自己做這件事」。His own story ends this way: his wife baked the tenant's favorite muffins and brought them over — not to move him, but, as she put it, "I have to do this for me."
Sandra 那句話，讓我們往前多想一步：饒恕常常不是為了讓對方好受，是為了讓自己的心不被關在報復裡。Sandra's line pushes us one step further: forgiveness often isn't for the other person's comfort — it's so our own heart isn't locked inside revenge.
沒有位階，只有成熟度的重量 No formal standing, only the weight of maturity
這讓我們問自己一個問題：亞比該攔住大衛，靠的不是位階——她在那個文化裡對大衛完全沒有正式的權柄，她靠的是成熟度本身帶的重量。我們遇到惡劣對待的時候，會不會反而更常去找「誰有資格說話」，而不是誰真正成熟到可以說這句話？That leaves us asking ourselves a question: Abigail stopped David without any formal authority over him in that culture — what stopped him was the weight of her own maturity, not her position. When we're mistreated, are we more likely to ask "who has the standing to speak here" instead of "who is mature enough to say this"?
亞比該沒有指責大衛「你錯了」，她用提問跟提醒把發現的空間留給他自己——這正是我們相信的：一個人看不見自己的困境時，身邊的人用問題把發現的機會留給他，不是替他下判斷。這是我們自己加上去的一層，不是他講過的話。Abigail never told David "you're wrong" — she used questions and reminders, leaving the discovery to David himself. That's exactly what we believe: when someone can't see their own situation, the people around them ask questions and leave room for them to find it, rather than handing down a verdict. That's a layer we've added ourselves, not something he said.
今天，如果有一個人正在讓你越想越氣，可以問自己一句：我現在想做的這件事，是為了讓自己的心自由，還是為了報復？If someone is making you angrier by the minute today, ask yourself: is what I'm about to do meant to free my own heart, or to get even?
引自 Andy Stanley「Mean People... And What To Do About Them」系列（Part 1「Even Is Easy」、Part 2「Moving Beyond Even」），2021 年 7 月 ·
Quoted from Andy Stanley's series "Mean People... And What To Do About Them" (Part 1 "Even Is Easy," Part 2 "Moving Beyond Even"), July 2021.
🎬 原片 The original
影片來源／Video source：Andy Stanley 官方 YouTube 頻道 · Part 1「Even Is Easy」·
在 YouTube 觀看 ·
故事在 Part 2「Moving Beyond Even」收尾 ·
Part 2 在 YouTube 觀看
📖 經文 Scripture
「親愛的弟兄，不要自己伸冤，寧可讓步，聽憑主怒；因為經上記著：主說，伸冤在我，我必報應。」（羅馬書 12:19）
"Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord." (Romans 12:19)
大衛最後放下刀劍，靠的就是這節經文的精神——伸冤的位置，本來就不屬於我們。What finally made David put down his sword was exactly this — the seat of vengeance was never ours to sit in.